Go Big, Go Long or Go Home

I wish I could hear that several more times for the next week. It's everywhere! We get it. We heard. Is there anyone who hasn't heard this yet? I'm trying to imagine the 'TomKat' wedding here. I hate the news. With a couch tromping passion. There should be a ban on the military or government saying anything that could possibly be reduced to a 10 second sound bite and played over and over and over for the next 50,080,099 hours. Or until OJ or TomKat pops their head up again for some money grabbing attention. I just want to set my tv on fire, roll its flaming corpse out into the street and shoot it, then run it over and urinate on it. And then go buy a nice new tv, cancel my useless cable get Direct TV, cancel it, burn that tv, load its flaming corpse into my car, drive to the nearest tv station and enter through the window, without bothering to get out of my car, and aim at anyone and everyone I find there with the by now flaming tv car with screaming kamikaze driver.

I know, not my best post. Then again, what is?

This is the best election ever!

Wow, it just doesn't stop. Democrats pick up both houses of congress, several Governor spots, and now Britney Spears accepted the will of the people and ousted Kevin Federline as her rappin' husband. I hear he will remain in some capacity as her baby's daddy though. Oh, and Rumsfeld is out.

In almost completely unrelated news, all of our problems are solved. The democrats fixed them all this morning.

And world peace is now attainable. Everyone is so caught up in Britney's divorce, they are eager to focus all of the world's hate on that bad old Fa-Ked. Did I spell that right?

Election Day!

It's Election Day! Make sure you get out and vote for the lesser of two evils! What a great triumph of civilization and society. Remember the law of the Constitution: If you don't vote, you can't complain.

It's right there, wedged tightly between separation of church and state and the Patriot Act II. Look it up.

Now get out there! I wanna hear lots of complaining tomorrow!

Time for a new post

Well, with the election coming up I thought I should get on here and blog it up. I'm sure everyone wants to know my thoughts and concerns over the many issues facing us during this election. The truth is, I'm not concerned at all. I don't see a single issue we have to deal with right now. It can wait. Stay the course. Keep the status quo. Push ahead. Nothing to see here. Keep your head down and your nose to the grindstone.

By the way, where are all the stars? Don't they usually like to make sure we know how to vote? Perhaps that's the source of my electoral ambiguity. I haven't been told what to think yet. Kind of cutting it close aren't they? Oh well, as long as I don't vote, I won't cancel out some poor celebrity's wise vote. I don't know the issues anyway. Not like they do. After all, they have all of the money, right? There must be something in their heads. Oh wait! They're saving all of their wisdom and influence for the next Presidential election. That makes sense. I mean, the current President can't run again, but celebrities don't have time for such useless facts. They're too busy trying to figure out how to make sure Bush doesn't get re-elected.

I wonder if gas prices will go up and more troops will end up in Iraq on Wednesday. Maybe I'm just paranoid.

I think I've been reading too many blogs today. I can't stand this post.

I'll just defer to the post about Suri Cruise.